My Valentine's Day Story

Hi! I couldn't help notice that you're looking at me, no, staring at me. Or is it that chocolate shop behind me that you're looking at? Waiting for someone?

After 5 minutes.
Would you please stop staring at me! Yeah I know you were not, but I'm bored, so I was just pulling your leg! My apologies!
Lets suppose you have been staring at me, intrigued by my sitting alone at my table for last 20 minutes. Well, I'm waiting for a friend. You might ask, a female friend? and I'd say, Yeah!
Now now, don't get silly ideas in your head! I'm not on a date. Just a lunch with a friend.

After 2 minutes.
Alright alright, since you've been so patiently staring at me with utmost commitment, I'll let you in a little secret. You guessed it right, I am on a date! But she doesn't know that she's on a date as well.
Ssshhhh... don't tell her, ok?! :D


After 30 seconds.
Okay now, this is getting ridiculous, why isn't she coming?! I've been waiting for half an hour already!! People have no value for time these days! Ridiculous!

After 5 seconds. Giggling!
Actually, I came half an hour early, and now I'm blaming her for not being on time! Its so much fun blaming others, and getting angry on them! I've never done that to anyone. Ah, never mind.

After 10 seconds of awkward silence.
Listen, I like you. My "date" might come anytime now, and I don't want to give you any wrong impression about myself, ok? So I'll tell you the truth, ok? Are you ready to handle the truth?
Alright, brace yourself my friend, because this might shake the very foundation of what you call... love!
Bah, I'm kidding. So, hey listen, when I was in high school, I liked this girl a lot. She was the prom queen, if we had prom night in Indian schools, but we didn't. Anyways, she was perfect. But I could never tell her about my feelings so now I would never know what could have been. But she did piqued my interest towards this thing which people call "love". I've been reading and watching and observing love stories and lovers. I've also written few love stories which many have liked it and congratulated me on my fresh perspective towards love. So,... haw! You Yawned! Yes you Yawned! Now don't hide your mouth, you yawned... you're bored of my story. :(

After 10 seconds.
So, I've decided to make as many female friends as possible. I want to understand women. How they think, how they perceive love, how they make decisions. Its very important my friend. Different women give me different characters for my stories. Its as if I'm God, writing my male friend and my female friend's love story, both of whom might be married separately and living happily their own lives.
Too complicated for that little head of yours, eh?
Remember this, even if you're not a writer, one day you'd fall in love with a girl. And I want you to befriend her, and when you feel you know her enough, express your feelings. You heard me buddy?
Its the man with courage who stays in the game,
others just keep whining over the same.
Hey, hey what happened?! Don't cry now! Little champ, Please! PLEASE !! SSShhhh... ok, ok, I won't talk about girls.

He presses the baby's mouth with his hand. Baby was going to sneeze and not cry. So, some mucous from baby's nose falls on his index finger and a bit reaches his middle finger. With a frown, he wipes it with the baby's shirt.

Parth!

Turns back to see Natasha smiling at him.
Hey Natasha, you're here!

Yeah!! Expecting someone else? Awww... so cute! Your baby?! :P

WHAT?! :O
She sits on her knees and starts interacting with the kid in her girly way.

NO! Not that I don't like this kid. We had a good conversation, didn't we, little champ!
Anyways, there's this lady who is a Toastmaster, Mrs. Juneja. We met last year at Orations. Never mind the details, she asked me if I could take care of her little champ! She apparently forgot the credit card at her home. I could have paid but she wouldn't listen.
She looks up at him.

Ah, of course! Always so generous!

Koi shak?! (any doubt?!) (in Suniel Shetty style).

Both giggle.

My Valentine Day's Story

If two guys go out on a Valentine's Day,
its just natural to conclude that they're gay.

But I'm not. Nor my friend is. In fact, my friend has a girlfriend but she stays in another city. But instead of sitting home alone, they decided to go out in their respective cities, have fun and talk on phone every once in a while. Maybe we're good friends or maybe I am his only single friend but I'm sure I got the first call, and we were the only two guys walking the mall together that night. There were couples, yes, and there were families, and group of friends and by group I mean more than two! Arjun's phone rings suddenly.

"It must be Aditi's call, yeah it is here. Hey Aditi."
""
Okay I don't know what she was saying, and if I try to speculate, that'd be lying to you.
"Aditi wants to talk to you."
"What? No no I don't want to dig into your precious conversation. I can talk to her tomorrow!"
"Take the phone, man." and he pushed his phone in my hand.
"Hey Aditi."
"Hi Parth. What's up with you guys? What are you going to do?"
"Well, we're gonna have something and look at hot chicks, rate them maybe. And yeah, the one with her boyfriend gets extra score."
"Cheapo! Ok, give the phone to Arjun."
""
Of course I don't know what she talked to him about but he was grinning.
"Yeah, we'll probably have a sub and then go to some other mall. We've actually decided to observe how couples behave in public."

And that was our plan, yes! Entertaining, and educative. But I'd have still preferred a pretty stranger girl than one of my best friends!
"Ok, I love you too. Bbye! Talk to you later. Yeah, will call you after I reach home and tell you everything I did. Ok, bye!"
I cringed a little inside when he said "I love you". Maybe I'm not used to this word. Please don't misjudge me. I have a loving family but I haven't said "I love you" to my mother as well! "I love you" and "Sorry" are something I have never been able to say to anyone.

While we did window shopping and were walking towards the subway, a quick visit to what happened today morning. A phone call woke me up at 7 am, one and a half hour before my usual time.
"Hi Sunny."
"Hi Mommy. How're you? Why haven't you left for school already?"
"I am about to leave. Just wanted to say, "Happy Valentine's Day"!! Just wanted you to know that your father, your sister and I love you very much."
"thank you Mom."
"and also I had to wake you up. You and your bad habit of waking up late!"
"And I'm awake now. So, you please leave for school and I'll go to the toilet. Can't talk anymore. Bbye!"
I didn't wait to hear her reply because it was an emergency situation. It happens 5 minutes after I wake up, its fixed! That kind of makes me not want to have dinner while traveling overnight when I go home!

I have no argument in my defense. Yes I can be labeled as a loser because I don't choose to be, I am forced to be single. Guys tell me, 'you got looks man, you got your writing and you got a good job, why don't you try, man? Girls are gonna like you, really!' Believe me, I've tried to try but, well, I talk direct. Its hard for me to read signs or flirt around. I mean, I could do that, maybe, but I am not sure of the other person's response. Its a hit and try game. You like someone, you walk up to her, and hope to start a conversation. That doesn't happen unless you have something in common. I did have something in common with that girl I met while on a 'date' with my best friend Arjun. I saw her sitting across us on the other table while we entered Subway. I deliberately took the chair to face my back towards her. The idea of talking to a girl without any plan scares me more than needles and ghosts!

I heard her approach towards the door from behind me when the person at the counter said, "Sir, you forgot your credit card." She and the guy with her looked back. While he walked up to the counter, her sight fell on me. I looked at her at the same time.
"Hey Parth, right?"
My face and hands were a little smudged with sauce, it happens all the time while I eat sub. I felt awkward.
"Yes indeed. How're you Natasha."
I didn't offer to shake her hands for obvious reasons.
"I'm good. How're you?"
"Good. So..." and while I searched for my next thought, her guy friend comes back.
I wipe off my hands with the tissue paper.
"Hey Parth, this is Arun. Arun, Parth."
"And this is my friend, Arjun."
All the formalities were done.
"Parth evaluated me for my speech this time and I was amazed. You were great Parth."
"Thanks Natasha. So when's your club's next meeting? Do send me an invite, I mean Madhapur Toastmasters."
"Sure! We're getting late for somewhere, so I'll see you later. It was nice meeting you. Bbye."
"Same here."
All the formalities were done.
"I have to tell Aditi this." Arjun says in his usual delightful mood when he knows something exciting.
"Why? What happened?"
"I saw a girl actually flirting with you. This is breaking news!"
"Flirting? No! We do that all the time. Its the Toastmasters code. We encourage each other and praise each other for a job well done. You never attend our meeting, I invite you so many times."
"Maybe now I will, I'm curious."
"Hey Aditi, yeah, I just saw a girl flirt with Parth."
""
"Yes I am sure. She was praising him and she started the conversation and all."
""
"Here, talk to Aditi."
He pushed the phone again in my hand.
"Hey Aditi. How was your evening? You sound so pleasant tonight."
Nothing worked. She started lecturing me that I should meet her more often.
"We're in toastmasters, that's why she talked to me! Please attend a toastmasters meeting in Pune, there are some clubs over there. You'll know."
"Why do you always try to deny that you are likeable."
"Arjun wants to talk to you, here."
And I took the remaining sub in my hand and quickly walked out before Arjun could push the phone back into my hand.