Gonna miss the days of our lives

today in my dream, in my deep sleep,
what I saw was what I now feel,

i'm gonna miss these days,
the days we've been together,
and had all the fun and pleasure,
i'm gonna miss these days,
the days that looked like forever,
but in the end seemed so less
these days of our lives...

the days are gone, leaving memories behind,
the bonds made stronger by the passage of time,
now we walk away on our paths of destiny or dream,
perhaps to get together later when our paths meet.

whatever the future be like,
it will never be the same,
like these days of our lives...

Change: The past and the present, Part I

When I look back at those 19 years of my life, and compare myself as what I was earlier and what I am now, I feel that I've changed significantly. Of course, I won't include my height and looks, as those things have hardly changed.

1. I waste infinitely less amount of food now a days as compared to when I was staying at home. What exactly happened I don't know but I have changed, and it's for good.

2. I don't talk for hours over the phone. At home, since we have to pay fixed rates for one month use of phone connection, so I sometimes talked a lot over it, but slowly this habit also wore off, like the previous one.

3. I used to be uncomfortable with talks about sex and similar issues, but then one fine day I realized that all these things are a part of nature and a part of what we are. Its foolish to ignore these things (of course my friends advised me a lot on this issue).

4. Another issue was abuses. I despised people who used abusive language. It took me a long time to make friends with them and get comfortable in their company. Some of them are excellent people and were my good friends, which made me realize that using abusive language doesn't make someone bad. Its just a way to vent out all frustration and what I realized as a result of that, was bad for me... since I never abused, all my frustration got collected within me, and I got all sorts of weird thoughts, and sleeptime dreams and I also slept more than required. (I still don't abuse anyone and so sleep a lot and still have weird thoughts and dreams.) But I've accepted abuses as a part of life. Now a days I interpret their meaning and tell people that if such things happened in reality then...

5. I had limited exposure to music at home, but after coming to college, I have started listening to different kinds of music and now I know what kind of music I like (the names, like "rock", "alt rock" etc.)

6. Now a days I have bath (almost) regularly, but till a couple of years ago, I had bath sometimes, not regularly. Seriously, I felt lazy to go and have a bath, but while bathing, I used to feel nice. Winters was another reason!

7. I was afraid of the dark. I used to watch all those horror TV series, "aahat", "Zee Horror Show" etc. and then used to tremble in the dark, feeling presence of ghosts all around me. I could not stay in the dark, even with people around me. But then, after I stopped watching those TV serials, the fear disappeared. But when I saw, "The Ring", that fear came back, but it wasn't fear of staying in the dark, it was fear of being alone. (Ghosts scare person who's alone, its convenient for them that way, chun chun ke daraate hai).

8. I used to get frustrated about small things in life, about small issues. Now it has lessened. Lower grades, bad performance, etc. used to frustrate me. I used to behave rudely with others, but I think that has also lessened, now that I've realized that I've reached 7th semester and CGPA won't make much of a difference now! :D
But sadly, even now a days I do get frustrated during exam days when I'm ill prepared! :(

9. Now for some bad changes, I've started chatting a lot, especially on gtalk, and have got addicted to orkut, a lot!

10. My sense of humor has gone from bad to worse. I become desperate to crack jokes that I try to use anything anyone says and comment on it, and many times its not amusing, and mostly confusing!

11. Something that hasn't changed as yet, is my social phobia.

Bread Toast

A few hours ago, my friends and I had gone to Reliance Fresh to buy bread, jam, and butter. I had particularly went out to get my mobile recharged!
I had no idea that they were planning to use a toaster to make bread toast, then apply butter on it, and then have it!
When I finally saw their intention, I somehow remembered those days when I was in 3rd standard, i.e., 8 years old! My grandpa (or naana) used to make bread toast for me on his old toaster and give it to me during the evenings I spent there... though he is no more, today suddenly I felt like going back in time and relive those days!
Its funny how human mind works! A simple thing like bread toast can remind you of such big things. And yeah, I did enjoy the bread toast which I had with my friends! :)
I didn't use butter or anything else, had only the roasted bread, the way my grandpa (or naana) used to give me.

Times spent with you.

Grateful for all the times spent with you,
it had a great feeling.
Thankful for all the time you'd been by my side,
it had a special feeling.
It makes me happy, it makes me smile,
to see you, to hear your voice.
When with you, I feel nothing can go wrong,
you give me energy, make me feel strong.

Now all I want to do is, hold your hand and hug you deep,
and to have you in my life as well as in my dreamy sleep.

Exam Day Stories Part I

In life, there are some events one can't forget. Like for instance, once it happened that I had an exam one morning. It was 5:45 am in the morning when I woke up. I sluggishly got up from my bed, and went to get ready for the day, thinking that I still had one hour to revise(study) for the exam as the exam was to start at 8:30 am. I was in the toilet when the doorbell rang. My mother answered it. I heard Bhim and Sanchit greet my mother. I also heard that the bus would be leaving in next 10 min.
I was SHOCKED !! How can this be? What was I missing here?
And then it suddenly struck me. The timings of the examinations had changed(from 8:30 am to 7:45 am) and the announcement was made during the previous exam time. I hastened the process and left the toilet quickly. I changed into my uniform, quickly drank the glass of milk, grabbed my bag and left. It was still dark outside We walked towards the bus stand. I looked at the sky, colored in vivid shades of dark blue. I felt the coolness and freshness in the air. The street lights were still lighted. It looked like night time. I took out my notebook and started reading under the light of the lamp of the bus, as soon as I entered the bus.
Many of the students already seated in the bus asked, "What happened?", "Why so late?" etc. and the reason was explained.
I still wonder what would have happened, had Bhim and Sanchit not come to my house that morning...

At some other occasion, it happened so that I woke up late. It was my mistake, though. I had set my alarm for 5:30 am and kept the alarm clock beside me. Now, this has two disadvantages. The first one being that the person sleeping can easily shut the alarm when it starts ringing and sleep again. This one is still fine, because at least the alarm has done it's job. The second being that the person, in his sleep, because of some movement of his hands, might shut the alarm before it gets a chance to ring. This is worse than the previous case and this is what happened to me.
I slept, thinking that I'd wake up and revise (study) but I woke up at 7:00 am. I had to get ready quickly, and caught the bus at 7:30 am.

In this another story, no one woke up on time at my home. Generally my mother wakes up at 5:30 or 6 am every morning. But that day, she didn't. She woke up at 7:15 am. Bus leaves at 7:30 am. She quickly woke me up. I quickly got ready but I was late. My school at that time, Campion School was 14 kms away. The school started at 8:30 am and bus always took us at 7:30 am. from the bus stop. Luckily, one of my neighbors was my school mate, my senior and used to drive to school on his scooter. He used to leave at 8 am. My mother requested him to take me with him. He agreed. I didn't go to his house to request him because he had a big alsatian dog and alsatians are dangerous. We did reach on time, but he drove real fast and I constantly had the fear of brakes failing! :(