Saturday, December 15, 2012

Running


"Abhishek, go on, join the line."
WHAT? Abhishek thought, standing under the shade of a little tree, in the hope of protecting himself from the blazing sun. He looks at his faculty house captain and gives his best 'confused' look to her.
"Yeah! Go on. We want everyone to try out to pick out the best ones." She said in an isn't-it-obvious tone and motioned him to join others in the lateral line standing just behind the starting line drawn by the white chalk powder on the soil covered hard ground.

He wondered, what makes her think I could survive this, leave alone qualify to represent my house! Or maybe I have a hidden super-power that only she knows, maybe I am a superhero!

The whistle jolted him out of his day-dream as he saw everyone else take off, leaving him covered with soil dust. He took off rather clumsily, but with a determined will to give his best. And he did. He ran like he never did before. He could feel his feet leaving behind the ground like the speed of light. He kept running and running, until he realized that he was the only one running. He stopped as he was already out of breath. He caught up with his breath, put his hands on his hips, and looks around. He felt good by the after effects of the adrenaline rush and the testosterone secreted that was going waste by his lifestyle that included only watching TV and playing video-games. He looked back from where he had started just to see how much distance he had covered, and to feel good.
He wasn't sure if he saw it correct. So he looked at where the finish was. And then again he looked at where he had started. From where he was standing, they looked equidistant !!

Exasperated and with all his adrenaline high now faded because of a disappointing performance, he just left the track and went back to stand under some tree away from his house students. He sat on the ground, and started fooling around with the little stones and twigs by pretending to play Hockey, or chasing ants sometimes with his finger or the twigs.
"Abhishek, you have some water left in your bottle?"
Abhishek looked up to see the house sports captain Chetan all covered with sweat looking at him.
He took his bottle, shook it and felt some water moving inside it.
"Sure."
Chetan grabbed the bottle with one hand like he usually did, as Abhishek had always observed, while he watched him gulp down water greedily by pouring it from above into his mouth.
"Thanks buddy." And Abhishek saw him jog back, the champion athlete of their house, and of their school.

Abhishek never really had any particular interest in sports or athletics. In fact in games period when he was younger, they used to have race among the boys of the class and he always came last in that. He didn't mind that, it never bothered him. In fact he never cared to put enough effort in running. He never pushed himself to win, even participation was like a punishment for him. But today, when pitched against everyone else in his house (some 15 boys in total), he felt inadequate, he felt weak when he couldn't even finish the distance of 100 meters. He wasn't fat, he was just so weak! He could now feel his weakness, his fragility in this world where he could be so easily defeated, or destroyed as he would have liked to put it.

News of bombings and terrorist attacks always disturbed him and his blood used to curdle within his veins and he always swore if he got one chance to face them, he would want to shoot them all, send them a message to stop their atrocities because he will be there to stop them. But how can he, when he can't even finish a 100 metres on foot?!
With a tired mind and a sad heart, he slept early that day. He opened his eyes and saw the roof of his room. He slowly sat up and looked around in semi-darkness. He flung his bedsheet aside, walked up to his window, moved away the curtains and looked out. It was still dark. He looked at his table clock beside his bed, it was 5:43 AM. His alarm would ring at 7 AM, he had more than an hour more to sleep. But today he just couldn't get himself to go back to that bed.
He dressed up in his track suit, and sneakers, and quietly left the house. He walked out into the street outside his house, he felt he was ready now. At a distance across the children's playground, he saw the milkman on his bicycle leaving one house and pedaling towards the next house. He started running in the same direction as the milkman and tried to keep up with him. For a minute he was at par with him and even overtook him a few times but finally Abhishek had to stop. He was gasping for air, exhausted by all the effort, all the excessive bursts of energy he demanded from his body. He held on to his knees and stood there, sweating, panting heavily and smiling. In his mind he knew it had begun.

Saturday, December 08, 2012

Talaash Spoilers !!

"Hey Rohan, you saw the movie Kaash?" Kapil asks.
"Not yet dude. BTW, how's it?"
"I haven't see it either but I heard its pretty cool."
"Oh, okay."
"I'm planning to go tonight, you wanna join us?" Kapil invites Rohan.
"Nah man, I have some work tonight. Maybe some other time."
"Sure!"

Later next day.
"Dude, I loved the movie !! Its the best thriller movie I've seen in so many years !!" Kapil says in an excited tone.
"Ahaan, its that good!" Rohan asked, a bit skeptical.
"Yeah buddy! I mean, this police officer is in search for this killer and he's totally clueless where to begin. He has these series of incidents in this case and he's confused. Then he meets this lady who surprisingly wants to help him. And then there's something that happened in his past... anyways, I really enjoyed it !!"
"Alright." Rohan smiles.

Few minutes later.
"Dude, and you know I still can't figure out how Kareena was the ghost!" Kapil just spills out the ultimate spoiler in the movie !!
"What?"
"Oh sorry you haven't seen it yet! So sorry!"
"No problem buddy, a good  movie is a good movie in spite of the spoilers."

Few days later.
"Dude, how could you like that movie? I mean, sure the movie was well made but the suspense made no sense, it was quite far from reality." Rohan seems a bit disappointed.
"Hey I'm so sorry I told you the ending before only..." Kapil sighs.
"Dude, that wasn't even the ending! Rani was the ghost!"
"WHAT?" Kapil is shocked to know that!

Enters Anjali.
"Hey what you guys talking about?" Anjali jumps into the conversation.
"The movie Kaash. You've seen it?" Rohan answers.
"Not yet. I was at my hometown and you guys already saw it naa..."
"Yeah, it isn't that great!" Rohan says.
"No, are you serious? Its awesome !! Trust me, its really good!" Kapil defends the movie.
"Okay! Let me see if I can find someone who hasn't seen the movie." Anjali says and leaves.

Few days later.
"So what do you think?" Kapil asks eagerly.
"Uhm... I liked it!" Anjali says.
"Yes, I win! Its a good movie." Kapil grins.
"Ok leaving that aside, who was the ghost, Rani or Kareena?" Rohan says.
"What are you talking about?" Anjali is confused.
"He says its Kareena, I saw its Rani. I think he was playing this mind trick on me and I really hate that. I want to know, who was the ghost." Rohan explains the situation.
"You both are playing that mind trick on me, right? Aamir was the ghost naa !!" Anjali is a bit confused herself now.
"WHAT?" Kapil and Rohan are shocked !!

Last month during the final promotion of the movie before the premiere.
"Sir, how are we going to release this movie with so many different endings?"
"Different endings every week. I don't care for the loss, I'll pay for any loss we incur. After what happened to my previous movie, Talaash, with the ending being revealed on the first day itself, this time I want to make people experience the real thrill !! They will now understand how it feels..." the director replies.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

The Storyteller

"Would you be interested in reading a story, Mr. Sainani?"
I saw this message flashing on my screen, with the name 'TheStoryTeller'.
What the hell! This is no time for silly jokes. I am busy preparing a report due in two hours. This is no time to read stories. And who is this guy?
"Who are you? Sorry buddy, I'm racing against time here. Later!"
"Always procrastinating! The usual Mr. Sainani."

"TheStoryTeller" is sharing story.doc file with you." flashed on my screen.
I don't know why but I accepted the story! I looked at my watch.
I think I can take a break for 10 minutes, I told myself, and opened the story.doc. The moment it opened up on the screen, I was impressed! And as I started reading it, I felt as if the text is pulling me gently into itself, the reading was so effortless. The words, the alignment, the indentation, the punctuation, the spaces, everything was so at the right place and the right time. I felt refreshed, like a person feels after consuming glucose after a long run. I took a deep breath and realized that my head didn't feel heavy anymore. I went back to his messenger window but that person was offline. In spite of spending 15 minutes at reading the story, I finished my report and submitted it on time. Something changed within me that day. I still have that story with me, but it doesn't feel the same way on subsequent readings. I never procrastinated since that day. I thought it was because of the story that I got rid of my bad habit, so I tried helping others by sharing the story, but it didn't work on them, and if it did, it was temporary, but in my case it was permanent.
I wish I could come in contact with him again. I don't know how he did it, even hard to imagine something like this could happen. I'd spent half of my life reading self-help books and watching inspirational movies but it didn't work. But his story instantly did the magic. But who was he? How did he know I procrastinated?

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Man with umbrella

He opens the umbrella and holds it on his head. Next moment the first set of raindrops touch the umbrella and drops off from the edges. He can somehow sense the rain in the heaviness of the air itself. As he stands there waiting, he sees all the other people surprised by the sudden rain, running for the roof nearby. He sighs and wonders yet again, why do people get scared of water falling from the skies, don't we have bath everyday?
Standing there 10 minutes, he witnesses situation get from bad to worse. The road in front of him fills up with water and looks like a small pond. He takes few steps back, lest he'd be drenched with the muddy road water when some car's wheel would roll into the puddle.
He sneezes. Afraid he may catch cold due to the cold wind that starts blowing a moment ago, he takes out his scarf, and wraps his neck and ears, then puts on his hat again. His trouser is getting wet from below, and now he can feel some water drip from the water soaked trouser to his socks, then to his leg. It never gets old, he smiles. Sniff! Sniff!
He hears the door open from behind. A lady in her mid 30s walks out. She smiles when she sees him.
He rushes to receive her under his umbrella.
"I'm so sorry dad, I made you wait."
"Its alright princess. People here kept me amused, and rain added to the entertainment. How was your class?"

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Episode 9: The Pot Belly Guy!

Previous Episode

Few months later...

"Did I tell you about my idea about the Pot-Belly guy?!"
Parth stands there holding the door after opening it with a sudden thrust, looking at Aditya who was browsing on his laptop.
"Hey hi", Aditya responds, without taking his eyes off the laptop screen.
"What man, what are you doing in the darkness?"
"Just watching some videos. Hey did you watch Lady Gaga's latest video?" Aditya asks curiously.
"No! Anyways, remember the Pot-Belly guy?"
"Yeah! Man, that's an awesome idea."

Sniffing the air.
"Did you just smoke weed?!" Parth asks curiously.
"Yeah, little bit. Can you smell it or what?"
"Yeah, I like the smell. Wish I could smoke it too."
"O yeah, doctor has asked you not to."
"Anyways, back to pot-belly guy! Lets pitch this idea to Dreamworks or Pixar for an animated movie !!"
"Yeah, ok wait. Let me think. So what's your idea?"

After a very satisfying nonsensical discussion on the Pot-belly guy's idea, Parth walks up to his room and tries tweaking his idea to make a better story out of it.

One week later.

"What's this Parth? What have you done to yourself?! I went home for vacation and in my absence, you betrayed me!!"
Natasha gasps, staring at his tummy!
"I am so sorry honey, you were gone and I was so lonely... I really didn't mean to, but all the time I was thinking about you only. You know how much I love watching sitcoms and munching Lays!"
"I see... I need time to think." She turns and starts walking away slowly, suppressing her giggle.
Parth catches up with her, holds her hand, and faces her.
"I'll do anything, anything you say!"
"Then get rid of this." She says, gently tapping it.
"What, you don't like the pot belly guy!" Parth says, pointing at his belly!
"I like the guy, not the belly. Its cute... ok let me show you why i don't like the belly. Come here."
She wraps her arms around him and hugs him. Parth feels his neck getting pulled away.
"See?"
"Yeah! But isn't it cute?" Parth says, grinning and moving his hands over his tummy.
"In that case, you know what you'll be missing."

As he saw her turn away and leave, Parth suddenly feels like Karan Shergil in Lakshya.

Haan yehi rasta hai tera,
toone ab jaana hai,
haan yehi sapna hai tera,
toone pehchaana hai,
tujhe ab ye dikhaana hai.

He pulls his tummy inside.

An hour later.

"Buddy, how do I reduce this?" Parth says, looking down upon his tummy.
"C'mon man, don't even think about it. That's our inspiration for our story!" Aditya says.
"But Natasha doesn't like it!"
"That's unfortunate, coz you're keeping it!" Aditya says nonchalantly.
"But she's back from her home! I don't like carrying this around when I'm with her."

That evening Parth decides, today it begins. He rolls up his sleeves, adjusts his pants, and sits down to download Rocky series !! "Time for some inspiration!!"
"Will watch Rocky 1 and go for jogging in the morning."
One and a half hour later.
"Wow, Rocky II also downloaded. I guess I can watch this too, its only 10:00 PM."
Two hours later.
"I think I should forward the stupid dialogues and get straight to the training part."
One hour later.
"I think its too late for waking up early in the morning. I'll finish the inspiration part tonight."
After two hours and Rocky IV, he rips open the packet of tomato flavored lays and starts munching.
"mmmm... wow, I'm loving it."
After 3 hours and Rocky VI, Parth jumps out of his bed.

"Eye of the tiger, buddy, eye of the tiger." he says to himself.
With the Rocky music playing in his mind, he walks out of his room and enjoys the beautiful scenery and cool breeze of early morning, and yawns a little.
"I ain't that sleepy, I think I should get into the habit of going for jogging in the morning."

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Summer Vacation begins

Abhishek looks at his watch.

Ten minutes left.
He looks at Arjun sitting beside him. He pokes the side of his tummy and shows him the time. Arjun sits up with a start, then blocks his tummy region with his arm, looks at his watch and grins and nods, but beckons him to look into the book while Mrs. D'Souza reads The Rime of Ancient Mariner.

Five minutes left.
Instead of his book, Abhishek looks at his watch as the seconds hand tick away. He starts gently tapping his legs, eager to run away at the first noise of the school bell. Pleasant music of Mario, the video-game starts playing in his head as he imagines himself jumping off the brick walls and hitting the brick ceilings for mushrooms.

Three minutes left.
Now the music changes to that of Contra, the video-game, to match his desperation levels. Abhishek closes his book and quietly slips it into his schoolbag. Slowly but steadily, he started closing the zip of his schoolbag. It starts making that noise. Mrs. D'Souza looks up from the textbook, Abhishek looks up from behind the boy sitting in front of him, and smiles at her. Mrs. D'Souza looks back at the textbook she's holding.
"Abhishek, what stanza are we reading at the moment? Can you please read it again?"
Pale with embarrassment, he looks at Mrs. D'Souza, then at grinning Himanshu sitting near the door, and few others nearby who were all looking at him. Arjun points his finger at the stanza as Abhishek lifts up Arjun's book in his hands and reads out the stanza.

One minute left.
Relieved to have escaped the punishment of staying back for 15 minutes after the final bell, Abhishek silently thanks Arjun. With every tick in his watch, his ear drums become restless to move to the tune of the final bell ring. And now, the last few moments of anticipation is too much to bear.
Ten seconds left.
Yes, any moment now. Yes.

The Final bell !!

Summer Vacations officially begin !!

Monday, September 10, 2012

The Dementor's Effect


Sometimes this happens. I'm at some place, doing my own job, minding my own business without bothering anyone when suddenly this feeling gets fired up in me. I feel deeply morose and flushed out of all happiness that ever existed in my life. I feel as if someone/thing has gripped my heart and is sucking all the happiness out of it, like the dementors do in Harry Potter series. I lose interest in everything that's around me and about me. I feel I can never be happy, as if I'm living in a post apocalypse world, with debris all around. I just be there, doing nothing, being nothing, fully aware that the time is passing by.
I see people around me talking, doing their work and various activities. I hear them laugh, argue, grumble and wonder if all that's really happening or if I'm dreaming. And if its really happening, how lucky they are! I feel jealous of them and happy for them at the same time. 'At least they are not trapped like me in my own misery', I think.

Once this feeling fires up in my heart, it doesn't leave me. My heart feels like a stone sinking in an ocean, deeper and deeper. At this time I sometimes hear some songs that resonate my feelings. This has been my biggest blunder because that only aggravates the feeling and sinks me deeper into this abyss.

I have tried few things to feel better. I watch sitcoms or standup comedians. I may laugh few times and forget about my sinking heart but once the show is complete, the feeling returns. I have also done some workout at home to fire up some testosterone to feel better. It helps sometimes but the sinking heart leaves me so devoid of energy that most of the times I don't feel like doing the workout.
Sometimes I talk to my parents and my sister when this happens. It does help if I do it right. I've observed that whenever it has helped, it was because I could release any bottled up emotions through crying for a while.
Maybe its because I miss home, maybe its because I feel lonely in spite of having so many wonderful friends. But most probably its because I never express myself. And this has perturbed many who have known me. Many of my friends, my mentor, manager and my friends at office, some of my toastmasters friends and even my parents (who got used to it after sometime). I thought I was shy but this is way beyond shyness, its actually quite sinister!
If I do well, I don't treat myself or celebrate. If I fail, I just ignore those feelings of anger and disappointment and just try to move on. If I like something or someone, I never say that. If I like something someone has done, I may just utter a word or two only because everybody else around me does so.
Maybe this sickening, drowning in my misery feeling is because of this messed up amalgamation of emotions within me that were never let out at the right time. They lie within me like a mess of entangled wires. The more you move around those wires, the more entangled they get.

Now that I do understand what's going on, I need to learn to express myself. Any ideas?! :)