Discipline, Talent and Time

Discipline may not be a substitute for talent but talent evaporates without it.

He wasn't talented but he did treat things gently, patiently and took his own time to understand them and get familiar with them. Ask him something all of a sudden and he'd look lost. Give him few minutes and he'd be ready to impress you with his response. He had this genuine interest in understanding how things work rather than be prepared with tailor made responses to situations. Perhaps, at the age of 14 itself he had understood that nothing is permanent, everything changes.
He wasn't disciplined, he hardly followed a time table, except for the school time table which he had to. He too his own sweet time doing things. Once he was forced to finish off something before the deadline and he did. All other deadlines were excused for him so that he could meet this deadline. The teachers were rather surprised though. They could clearly see the drop in quality of this work as compared to his previous submissions, which often happened few days later. Some teachers were fine with his late submissions because they marveled at his output but some thought that special treatment to one student could mean partiality which eventually authorities were not ready to do. Poor chap, he suffered due to this.

So, in a conventional sense, he was neither talented, nor disciplined. But he was both, yes he was!
You could call him talented, his talent lies in his perspective, his approach towards things, situations.You could call him disciplined, when doing one thing, he paid complete attention to that thing only. He never compromised with this time and attention to his work. He overshot deadlines only because he knew he could do better and only when that zenith of perfection is achieved that he is ready to proudly claim that work as his own.
Perhaps we end up defining discipline and talent wrongly! Why do we have to use time to define discipline and talent?

My Valentine Day's Story

If two guys go out on a Valentine's Day,
its just natural to conclude that they're gay.

But I'm not. Nor my friend is. In fact, my friend has a girlfriend but she stays in another city. But instead of sitting home alone, they decided to go out in their respective cities, have fun and talk on phone every once in a while. Maybe we're good friends or maybe I am his only single friend but I'm sure I got the first call, and we were the only two guys walking the mall together that night. There were couples, yes, and there were families, and group of friends and by group I mean more than two! Arjun's phone rings suddenly.

"It must be Aditi's call, yeah it is here. Hey Aditi."
""
Okay I don't know what she was saying, and if I try to speculate, that'd be lying to you.
"Aditi wants to talk to you."
"What? No no I don't want to dig into your precious conversation. I can talk to her tomorrow!"
"Take the phone, man." and he pushed his phone in my hand.
"Hey Aditi."
"Hi Parth. What's up with you guys? What are you going to do?"
"Well, we're gonna have something and look at hot chicks, rate them maybe. And yeah, the one with her boyfriend gets extra score."
"Cheapo! Ok, give the phone to Arjun."
""
Of course I don't know what she talked to him about but he was grinning.
"Yeah, we'll probably have a sub and then go to some other mall. We've actually decided to observe how couples behave in public."

And that was our plan, yes! Entertaining, and educative. But I'd have still preferred a pretty stranger girl than one of my best friends!
"Ok, I love you too. Bbye! Talk to you later. Yeah, will call you after I reach home and tell you everything I did. Ok, bye!"
I cringed a little inside when he said "I love you". Maybe I'm not used to this word. Please don't misjudge me. I have a loving family but I haven't said "I love you" to my mother as well! "I love you" and "Sorry" are something I have never been able to say to anyone.

While we did window shopping and were walking towards the subway, a quick visit to what happened today morning. A phone call woke me up at 7 am, one and a half hour before my usual time.
"Hi Sunny."
"Hi Mommy. How're you? Why haven't you left for school already?"
"I am about to leave. Just wanted to say, "Happy Valentine's Day"!! Just wanted you to know that your father, your sister and I love you very much."
"thank you Mom."
"and also I had to wake you up. You and your bad habit of waking up late!"
"And I'm awake now. So, you please leave for school and I'll go to the toilet. Can't talk anymore. Bbye!"
I didn't wait to hear her reply because it was an emergency situation. It happens 5 minutes after I wake up, its fixed! That kind of makes me not want to have dinner while traveling overnight when I go home!

I have no argument in my defense. Yes I can be labeled as a loser because I don't choose to be, I am forced to be single. Guys tell me, 'you got looks man, you got your writing and you got a good job, why don't you try, man? Girls are gonna like you, really!' Believe me, I've tried to try but, well, I talk direct. Its hard for me to read signs or flirt around. I mean, I could do that, maybe, but I am not sure of the other person's response. Its a hit and try game. You like someone, you walk up to her, and hope to start a conversation. That doesn't happen unless you have something in common. I did have something in common with that girl I met while on a 'date' with my best friend Arjun. I saw her sitting across us on the other table while we entered Subway. I deliberately took the chair to face my back towards her. The idea of talking to a girl without any plan scares me more than needles and ghosts!

I heard her approach towards the door from behind me when the person at the counter said, "Sir, you forgot your credit card." She and the guy with her looked back. While he walked up to the counter, her sight fell on me. I looked at her at the same time.
"Hey Parth, right?"
My face and hands were a little smudged with sauce, it happens all the time while I eat sub. I felt awkward.
"Yes indeed. How're you Natasha."
I didn't offer to shake her hands for obvious reasons.
"I'm good. How're you?"
"Good. So..." and while I searched for my next thought, her guy friend comes back.
I wipe off my hands with the tissue paper.
"Hey Parth, this is Arun. Arun, Parth."
"And this is my friend, Arjun."
All the formalities were done.
"Parth evaluated me for my speech this time and I was amazed. You were great Parth."
"Thanks Natasha. So when's your club's next meeting? Do send me an invite, I mean Madhapur Toastmasters."
"Sure! We're getting late for somewhere, so I'll see you later. It was nice meeting you. Bbye."
"Same here."
All the formalities were done.
"I have to tell Aditi this." Arjun says in his usual delightful mood when he knows something exciting.
"Why? What happened?"
"I saw a girl actually flirting with you. This is breaking news!"
"Flirting? No! We do that all the time. Its the Toastmasters code. We encourage each other and praise each other for a job well done. You never attend our meeting, I invite you so many times."
"Maybe now I will, I'm curious."
"Hey Aditi, yeah, I just saw a girl flirt with Parth."
""
"Yes I am sure. She was praising him and she started the conversation and all."
""
"Here, talk to Aditi."
He pushed the phone again in my hand.
"Hey Aditi. How was your evening? You sound so pleasant tonight."
Nothing worked. She started lecturing me that I should meet her more often.
"We're in toastmasters, that's why she talked to me! Please attend a toastmasters meeting in Pune, there are some clubs over there. You'll know."
"Why do you always try to deny that you are likeable."
"Arjun wants to talk to you, here."
And I took the remaining sub in my hand and quickly walked out before Arjun could push the phone back into my hand.

Price Tag on marriage

Times have changed and are changing, but sadly some things haven't changed. Why do people still believe in taking (which is understood!) and giving (WTH!!) dowry? Educated people living in a mansion also demand dowry... don't they have enough money? And those who give dowry believe that if they don't, then their daughter might have a difficult time in that household. If the groom's family doesn't accept her or if she has a difficult time in that family then maybe that marriage wasn't the right thing to do in the first place. Can money really make/mend relationships? I thought love did that !! Times indeed are changing.

Tell me one thing though, doesn't a woman contribute equally, if not more, to the economy of the household? A wife, a daughter-in-law, a mother, takes care of the house, she is a homemaker. Imagine your life without her, without them... all I'm saying is that dowry as a custom has lost its significance, its not out of love for your daughter but out of fear. Its like a rotten limb, its painful yet you refuse to cut it off just because its always been a part of your body.

This is for all the highly qualified well educated guys... if your parents don't understand, you should. With big degrees and years of work experience, do you still need to ask (or impose) the bride's family for dowry? Isn't your fat salary enough? Have you lost your self respect along with your innocence over the years? How can a marriage, or any relationship, be stable if it is based on financial transaction (in cash or kind)?

Marriage has become a business transaction. The amount of dowry that a groom or his family deserves depends on two things: status of the family and education qualification of the groom. But if the family belongs to high class society or the groom is a highly qualified professional, is dowry really necessary? If the rich and the educated still follow such customs then where's the hope for everyone else?

I am a firm believer of the fact that wherever more than necessary money is involved, evil creeps in. There are too many troubles in this world, why carry another one on our shoulders. Let us be free of the outdated obligations that society supposedly puts on us, because your happiness and your daughter's happiness is more important than what others think, and money can't buy happiness.

Clock!

I like to look at seconds passing away one by one, the tick tock of the wall/desk clock or the changing digits of a digital watch. It is like stopping and watching the time move.
I sometimes stare at the second's needle, or 'hand' as it is generally called, and see if it points exactly to the designated marks on the clock meant for each second. Sometimes it goes out of sync but within the complete round it catches up and becomes in sync with the marks again.
The hour, minute needle are called hands of a clock maybe because their position indicate values of hour and minute of the day. They remind me of traffic policeman showing proper directions to the traffic flow. The hour and minute hand can be like human hands, thick & short means slower and thin & long means faster. The very thin & long seconds hand can work like a tail, always wagging.
The common design of a clock has the hands which move in a circular fashion through the numbers 1 to 12 that have been arranged in a circle. In fact many people can tell the time by just looking at the position of the hands even if the numbers were removed, which is what some clock makers exploit to come up with innovative and stylish designs.
As a kid I couldn't understand why we kept those pointy needles moving in circles with numbers from 1 to 12 arranged in a circle, on walls and on the dressing table. I did know it is useful and shows time but it was only after my father taught me that one has to multiply every number by 5 to get the minutes, I understood how to look at a clock. In those days I like digital watch/clock better only because I didn't have to do the multiplication with 5 but I think in few months time I got accustomed with the clock with hands as well.
The numbers in a clock are arranged in a circle, so every hand crosses every number many times, i.e., same time happens everyday or twice a day. Metaphorically speaking, time always returns. It moves in circles, hence it feels like it's giving us second chances. Maybe it is because earth rotates on its axis which is a circular motion, so day and night cycle happens.

P.S. - Even a stopped clock/watch shows correct time twice a day, one can't do anything about that time, but still one can claim its not completely useless!

Wikileaks and the Whistle Blower

The Wikileaks are all over the news. People are talking about it, its a sensation, something that has never happened before. But it has now. Does that mean this was the right time for it to happen? Is any time right for leaking confidential government information?
Suppose a person who doesn't know about surgery is shown a team of surgeons performing operation on a person. This person may freak out looking at the blood covered organs and flesh, thinking they're killing that person, while in reality they're trying to save that person. They may or may not succeed but they're trying. Wikileaks is showing such a person the confidential transactions that haven't reached a consensus or conclusion and may be ambiguous. It is a surgical operation that has been exposed to the wise and the otherwise people and it may have unexpected repercussions. Yes, damage might be done, but how honest has the US government, or for that matter, any government ever be? The bigger question, does a government have to be transparent to people who may not understand the situation, or some secrecy keep the situation in control and things running smoothly?
The only saving grace is that wikileaks has been well organized and information is being released in a well planned manner. The whistle blower has successfully shown the finger to the US government even if the government is able to curb the whole wikileaks thing completely at this moment. And now the whistle blower will pay the price, and his punishment is being decided, about which the authorities are still undecided.
The most crucial question we must ask ourselves now is that why has secrecy or deception become such a crucial component for smooth functioning of anything these days? Is it because technology makes it easier to keep track of people, events, information flow that some things have to be deliberately hidden or are we growing more paranoid and distrustful every passing day?
The US government has been keeping tabs on everything that's going on in the world, they want to be a part of everything! Why do they have to be such a control freak? They play their "white man's burden" game with fine subtlety that many don't notice. I hope the whistle blower has taught them a lesson that being self-proclaimed leaders of the world, they should know better and be more transparent. So much for diplomacy!

Facebook comment

Abhishek is delighted to see her comment on his facebook status. He promptly replies to her comment. Little conversation happens, pleasantries are exchanged, ending in Abhishek's comment to which he expects her reply. He waits in anticipation, switching to the facebook tab every few minutes. After a few hours, at 4 am, he realizes she won't reply.
"Ah, screw it! I should have known better. I mean, why do I behave this way? Why should I expect a comment from her? Okay, she responded to few of my comments, but that's common courtesy, right?" Taking a deep breath, "Alright, from now on, I won't behave like an ass and waste my time on these silly online conversations."

Next morning, he gives himself the same peptalk. He opens facebook first thing, due to habit.
He sees her comment below his comment from previous night. Few comments are exchanged, ending in Abhishek's comment to which he expects her reply. He waits in anticipation...

Same Pinch

Meeting an old childhood friend feels so lovely!
Me: "Hey buddy, how've you been?"
Friend: "I've been good. How've you been?"
Me: "I've been good! Same Pinch."