Friday, March 06, 2015

Toastmasters in Bollywood

Member 1: "Aaj mere paas speech draft hai, speech slot hai... tumhare paas kya hai?"
Member 2: "Mere paas, mere paas... Mentor hai...."

"Babu Mushoy, Toastmasters meeting bad honi chaahiye, lambi nahi" - TM Anand.

"Aaj tak tum bolte aaye aur main sunta aaya ... aaj main bolonga aur tum sunoge" - The Ice Breaker speaker.

"Table topics se darr nahi lagta sahab, evaluations se lagta hai." - Dabangg.

"Chief Judge, Contest Chair, main tera khoon pee jaoonga,"says a speech contestant who just lost the contest.

"Rishte mein to hum tumhare mentor lagte hain, naam hai Shahenshah." - Shahenshah Toastmaster.

"Mogambo khush hua," - Club President, after scoring the 10 DTP points.

"Khaamosh!" - The Shotgun SAA !!

"Ye speech mujhe de de Thakur!"

"Contest kab hai, kab hai contest?!" - TM Gabbar Singh!

Don ki speech ko evaluate karna mushkil hi nahi, naamumkin hai kyunki Don ki speech ko 12 mulko ke Toastmasters mentor karte hain.

"Chedi Singh, hum tumhe itni speeches sunaayenge ki confuse ho jaaoge applaud kispe kare aur evaluate kise kare !!" - Dabangg Toastmaster.

"Jo main speech mein likhta hoon wo main bolta hoon, jo main nahi likhta, wo main definitely bolta hoon!!" - Rowdy Toastmaster.

"Ek baar jo maine speech de di, uske baad toh main apne evaluator ki bhi nahi sunta!" - Wanted Toastmaster.

"Taarekh pe taarekh, taarekh pe taarekh milti rahi hai, lekin speech slot nahi mila. Milti hai toh sirf taarekh" - Angry Toastmaster.

"Main aaj bhi doosro ki likhi speeches nahi sunaata." - The Big B Toastmaster.

"Bade bade divisions mein aise chote chote contests hote rehte hain." - Raj, the Toastmaster.

"Toastmasters ka ek usool hai, madam: no Ahs, no Uhms, ... no long pause, no short pause, no filler words, no repetition" - Prem, the Ah Counter in Maine Speech Diya.