Friday, August 28, 2015

It happens only in India

People blowing horn incessantly really pisses me off !!
I mean, are the vehicles driving ahead, a group of oxes that you whip with your horns?
And then they are blown horn at by the ones behind them, and so on!
Its like they propagate their frustration ahead.
Sometimes I just feel like turning back and showing them the finger or shout at them, for real!
But then I am not the one who can stand a fight, so I prefer to beat it and keep myself safe!
Nonetheless I've seen this has been a growing trend on Indian roads, the trend of blowing horns, thinking that the traffic ahead will magically start moving faster, or even better, disappear! I mean, how primitive can we be to feel such nonsense!

While the blowing horn mania is quite a recent one, an age old habit that truly is unique to being an Indian, is spitting!
Indians are quite good at it, in fact it doesn't matter what they're doing, if they feel like spitting, they will spit. They turn their head to a side, collect all the material and with certain required amount of force, pull their head back a little and then thrust out the spit while their head also jerks ahead a little. Some who are more proficient don't have to move their head at all, to attain that thrust. Their mouth is powerful enough to produce that long trajectory of spit that's so clearly visible to the naked eye.
Given the insane amount of spitting that goes on, on Indian roads, I am surprised that I haven't witnessed any victim yet.
Indians can spit anytime, anywhere, but only when they're in India! They can spit while driving, or being driven, while walking, while talking, while sitting, while standing, while eating, while drinking... haven't seen them spit while dancing, but who knows, maybe someday!

Another thing Indians have mastered over the years is Moral Policing! And surprisingly, they feel quite righteous about it! But you know what they really are, a spoilsport! They're worse than the guy who asks questions in the class after the bell for recess has rung! They're worse than that monitor who complains to the teacher about those who talk and make a mess in class! They're worse than ... well lets say they're the worst. So what if two people want to be in love and make love, be it within the walls of a hotel or out in the open, perhaps in a park! But NO! They're the ones who decide what's right, because, obviously it seems they either never got any "action" or they suffered heartbreak or they've been brainwashed by those who suffered from the above two reasons... had it been two minors or a minor with an adult, one can understand the concern but two consenting adults, comfortably above the age of 20, have the right to make love any way they way wherever they want! Trust me, they won't go naked and fornicate in a public park, they won't. If they do, please arrest them. Until then, let people have fun! Let them enjoy the good fortune that they have someone to love who feels the same!

And the latest one... girls please don't falsely accuse guys that they've abused you. The situation is such that anything against a girl is now a crime and most guys have no interest in abusing or hurting a girl's feelings intentionally. They don't, nobody does. Please don't be the shepherd who shouted wolf when there was none because when one actually appears, nobody would be willing to believe you and we'd be back to the "dark ages" for females. Things are looking good for females, lets help this movement and usher an age where everybody enjoys all the privileges! I hope I live to see that day.


nimisha said...

Why must people going naked in a park be arrested? Isn't it their choice again?

Abhishek said...

It is their choice. :)
I am just concerned that how will we be able to explain to the kids what was happening! Till kissing its fine but sex is a topic kids are not ready to understand unless they've hit puberty.