Today I started respecting life and dreading the thought of dying. I can now understand the fear people in Pune and in other cities live in. I was scared when I realized I might have swine flu.
It all started with a shiver. I felt it at 2 am I think. Maybe it was the sudden drop in temperature due to slight change of weather, but the thought that a shiver might be a symptom brought scary thoughts in my mind, getting admitted in a hospital, friend and family visiting me while I lay on the hospital (death, I felt so) bed. I even starting writing my will, i.e., to whom should I give passwords of which account on the internet. I realized I had to do a lot in life, my dreams crumbling to dust when I realized I would die soon. I met few of my friends whom I thought might be interested in the ideas I had in mind and the ones I have documented.
Another thought that crossed my mind was that I won't be allowed to eat in mess and I'd have to survive on biscuits and other packed food products... I would be kept in isolation during last days of my life...
I was so scared I didn't leave the bed to go for breakfast, lest I may shiver if I let go of the bedsheet I had wrapped around myself. Finally at 9:45 am I got up and did some exercise, felt good but weak. Lately I've been feeling sore in my throat.
The thought still lingers in my mind... do I have Swine Flu?
Time is too short and life too uncertain... the thought of a possibility of death scared me and still scares me. And with every news about deaths, be it of one person, concerns me deeply, for I have felt what it feels at the dawn of death.
I talked to my family and friends in Pune yesterday. Did the disease transmit through phone lines? Can it?
Would chatting on gtalk transmit the disease?
P.S. - Watching myself on deathbed suffering from Swine flu, I wondered which is more dreadful... being a victim of a terrorist attack or a deadly disease? I would go for the former one.
5 comments:
to whom should I give passwords of which account on the internet
ROFL :D
talking bout paranoia ...
yaar do you know that in our country daily 800 people die of cancer and many others of different kinds of diseases. Yeh sab jaane bina hi you have lived all these years rite. So if suddenly swine flu starts killing 4 ppl on an average per day you are so worried that you wrote your will :O .
Dude i don't know in which frame of mind you wrote this post ( humor or reality) but seriously i think you must go to the hospital ( not for checking swine flu condition but for brain function test)
The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our duration, the clearer we should get a load of through it.
http://epractice.eu/en/people/196152
Those who be affiliated to the standard faiths demand that the expert of their faith rests on expos‚, and that publication is presupposed in the pages of books and accounts of miracles and wonders whose complexion is supernatural. But those of us who have great discarded the belief in the magical quiescent are in the self-possession of revelations which are the foundation of faith. We too entertain our revealed religion. We procure looked upon the lineaments of men and women that can be to us the symbols of that which is holy. We have heard words of sacred reason and truth oral in the human voice. In sight of the domain there keep be involved a arise to us these experience which, when accepted, give to us revelations, not of unexplainable doctrine, but of a unexceptional and fated credence in the clerical powers that motivate and stay in the center of [a mortal physically's] being.
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