'Present me' becomes 'Real me'

Continuing from the previous post...

Present me makes a list of all that he must change in himself to become the real me. He decides to sleep by midnight every night, wake up at the first ring of the alarm clock, make a time table and follow it to avoid procrastination, start believing that he's also worth something, have self-confidence, do some yoga and physical exercise, play some sports, clear his thought process by meditation, practice public speaking, read newspaper everyday, interact with more and more people to know the current state of the world around him, forget about the regrettable parts of his past and anticipate an awesome future for himself etc.

Present me followed above said things with full vigor and zeal. He already starts feeling great by the end of a couple of days, as if rehabilitated after heavy drug use. Alas, he was yet to see lot more. Body aches due to exercise led him to sleep in some lectures and his sleep timings were disturbed. He got frustrated and watched a couple of movies that day. Next day, he had to do work for previous day as well as present day, since he shouldn't procrastinate any further. This forces him to miss the 1 hour of his yoga and exercises, which is good because that gives his body time to rest and next day he's ready for some more exercise. This continues for few weeks till he decides to take part in a group discussion. He's not able to put across a single opinion on the table. He realizes that whatever he had been doing was still in his own comfort zone. He had to get out once in a while in the cold winter to get used to the chilly weather. A few times more he's smacked on his face in such group discussions and rebuttling rounds. Battered and bruised, he decides to give up completely, and think of her only as a dream he ever had, a pleasant dream that woke him up and showed him the face of reality.

He hears her voice again...

The internal struggle grows wild as present me tries his best to become real me, and thinking of her and the awesome life he'd have as real me helps. But not entirely. Present me still hesitates when he feels the cold but the cold doesn't pain as much as it used to. The cold breeze feels thinner and the bite of the wind pains less. Present me now can survive for long time in the cold before he feels the need to get back into his cosy bed. But he still shivers in the cold, he's still not comfortable. The shivering must stop.

All the while present me had been training himself and accepting and bringing changes in his life, he also observed the tiny changes in him. He was now comfortable about standing at the podium, about speaking with partial or complete strangers. He can now run a few kilometers at a stretch before his body gives up. He now has a couple of hobbies and proudly shows people whatever he does. Sleeping problem still persists, but he has accepted that and likes his random hours of sleeping, thinking that he's sleeping less and living his life more! He loves himself and his new life. He could now see himself as the real me. Only a few more steps away...

He hears her voice again while in his bed. He rushes to the door, confident now that he'd cross the threshold and walk upto her. Finally he'd meet her...
He crosses the threshold in excitement and suddenly feels cold. The weather doesn't seem that cold outside. But he's shivering, more than he used to, in recent days. But for all he has done to meet her, he can't let this chance slip through his hand. As he walks towards her, bearing the sudden chill that he feels, all he can see is her, smiling at him. She was neither standing in a welcome pose, nor a repelling one. She was just smiling.

He stops a couple of steps away from her. He extends his hand at her. She smiles, a little confused she looks, which makes me (90% real, 10% present) shiver again. She happily holds his hand and lo, he stops shivering (i.e., present me completely converted to real me). He feels warm inside once again. He feels the sun-rays at his back, and looks at her face shining in sunrise.

Present me becomes real me, at last!