Lately I have not been working, at all. I am not so lazy as not to work at all but I feel more of unsure as to why I should work! I don't feel convinced that I should work. And if I work, which is studying in my case, I don't seem to be going anywhere with it, maybe because of my unwillingness.
Today while walking towards the lab (at 11 am), I looked around me, and saw people busy with their work, students walking with their bag/books, the gardeners mowing the lawn or picking up dry leaves and grass, the canteen owner/juice vendor taking orders and preparing them etc. Even people chatting in a group or a person standing under shade of a tree and waiting for someone seemed to be doing something and I found myself totally purposeless. So while walking towards lab, I started pondering over the consequence of my not working but just consuming (food, juices, electricity, water etc.) and the answer convinced me to study. :)
Its simple. I should get resources proportional to the services I give. Till now my parents took care of me but not anymore, it doesn't seem right as I'm 21 now. But I still am not working and consuming, which means someone (or many) in this world would be suffering and getting less than he/she deserves because I'm consuming what I don't deserve.
A balance must be made, but human emotions always disrupt this balance, but the system survives, and has been surviving till now. My emotions ask me to watch movies and read stories/write blogs but not to do coding or read research papers, which disrupts this balance... I want to code and read papers but my emotions don't allow me to... well lets see how far this tussle lasts and who wins... :)